Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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