i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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