just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
