I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
