I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This is my gift to your gina
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
