Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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