If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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