friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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