Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.

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  (804): You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic. (1-804): If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator. http://tfl.nu/r2b2
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (407)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?

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  (617): Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it? http://tfl.nu/1qwp
  Replies (16) Good night (612) Bad night (3019) Order T-Shirt
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  (581): View more from Quebec

  I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.

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  (581): I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset. http://tfl.nu/8lj9
  Replies (33) Good night (1235) Bad night (5597) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Yeah, but four times?

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  (702): Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it. (1-702): Yeah, but four times? http://tfl.nu/x8r7
  Replies (30) Good night (6909) Bad night (1675) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother

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  (319): Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother http://tfl.nu/j9lt
  Replies (20) Good night (3292) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

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  (617): I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/p474
  Replies (21) Good night (1156) Bad night (4887) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times

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  (775): My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times http://tfl.nu/d78u
  Replies (15) Good night (4049) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

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  (315): The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/v27u
  Replies (3) Good night (2697) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.

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  (228): Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis. http://tfl.nu/q40e
  Replies (15) Good night (4912) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss

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  (727): Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss http://tfl.nu/ms4i
  Replies (9) Good night (745) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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  (361): I'm okay with corrupting his young mind. (1-361): Ew! He's just a child! (361): AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE. http://tfl.nu/exs0
  Replies (46) Good night (3694) Bad night (1690)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore

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  (401): um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore http://tfl.nu/seg6
  Replies (11) Good night (688) Bad night (2229)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette

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  (215): fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette http://tfl.nu/iod4
  Replies (6) Good night (1095) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets

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  (631): His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/4eyt
  Replies (13) Good night (360) Bad night (1836) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair

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  (518): Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair http://tfl.nu/llhv
  Replies (1) Good night (315) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt

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