He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text