guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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