Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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