A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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