Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
