i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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