I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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