i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
