They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
