lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
