found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
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On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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