It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
