there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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