I hate all girls vehemently.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
