Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
