you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
