no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
