Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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