I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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