would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
