Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
only you would photoshop your dick
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
