do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
