I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
