Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
