she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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