PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
