hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
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and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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