My first STD was from a foam party
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize