Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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