Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
