the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
