He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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