my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
