I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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