Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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