Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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