i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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