Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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