You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's rum buckets o'clock
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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