that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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