He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
