Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
