I think I am morally bankrupt
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
