So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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