I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
nutella sex= disaster
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
