well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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