I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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